PART SEVEN : THE RETURNING... (OR TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY, THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE DOWNRIGHT FUCKING UGLY)

PART SEVEN : THE RETURNING... (OR TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY, THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE DOWNRIGHT FUCKING UGLY)

Our last day at the hotel was spent mainly hanging about, saying our goodbye's and
Thank You's to members of the hotel's staff, and sitting around in the bar, drinking
far too many coffee's for anyone flying out that evening.
We were due to be picked up by the hotel's airport shuttle van at 7.20 in the evening
to take us to Sharm airport so we had a long day of hanging about after packing our
stuff and placing it in the hotel's luggage lock-up and vacating our room at midday.,

 

 

Lunch time we actually had a meal as opposed to snacks because you don't need
your stomach overloaded on a flight and we're definitely hip to that, so basically
we hung about.
It's boring, because there's not a lot you can do without getting stuff out of your suitcase,
but that's just the way of it unfortunately.

 Dinner is served at 6.30 in the evening so a quick snack and we're outside sitting in
the hotel's reception until our lift appears, which it does, literally bang on 7.20, and we're
the first passengers to be picked up. Two more pick-ups to go and then we're airport
bound.
The other two pick-ups are no problem and so we're off to the airport.

We get there and go through their first 'strip' scan and then we are given a 'leaving card'
which we are expected to fill out with all the details that they've already been given twice
already. (Visa and entry card) This seems to go on forever...
Finally we get through the scanner and their bloke queries my keys...
Yes, there,s a house key, a car key, a couple of Gambian wardrobe keys, three small keys
for unlocking suitcases when you're travelling depending on the weight you're allowed to
travel with, and a bottle opener.  Yes... They are all mine, yes, this does that, this does this,
they do that, and these do this. It's not difficult...
And when we get our boarding cards we find out we're not even sat in the same row on the
'plane
Great !
And then somebody walks past us cursing that the 'effing flight' has been delayed for an hour...
Things seem to really be going well, don't they ?
Ok, I'm off to check.
Yep. Delayed for one and a quarter hours.
Thanks a fucking bunch, Whizz Air...
I wonder what excuses we'll be given when we get on the 'plane ?
Late flying out and late flying back.
Two hours later and we're still there with no announcements being made.
The Whizz Air team have all fucked off and we seem to be stuck there wondering what's happening
The board is still stating that the flight has been delayed.
Finally, at 1am in the morning, the Egyptian airport security team turn up (with machine pistols)
and proceed to tell us that there will be no flight out that night because the aircraft had been
diverted to Cyprus.
However, we are all going to be taken to a hotel to get our heads down and we will get a flight
out in the morning at about 11.00 am. The coach will pick us up from the hotel at 9.30 and could
we all please follow them and they would escort us to our coaches outside to take us to the hotel.
Leaving the airport was a scream in more ways than one...
I had to stop at the top of the escalator to let an old lady with a stick pass me and I am rammed
in the back by some Polish cunt pushing his kid's push-chair.
I literally go down having lost the use of my left leg, and this cunt just walks over me screaming
that his children should be allowed through first...
When I finally manage to put some weight back on my leg, we seem to be way behind everyone
else and I stagger outside to the coaches which look full, but one of the staff helps with our suitcase
and we manage to get seats on one.
It is my sincere hope that when aforesaid Polish guy meets his maker, he has done it by drowning
in his own excreta...
Can't say fairer than that.
It's now 2.20am in the morning and we are just about to be booked in for our overnight stay at the
hotel...
Dunno about you, but I'm totally knackered and my leg is paining me some.
After checking it, there's no blood but the bruising is huge.
The room is ok, but there's no coffee in it, only tea so that will have to do.
Let's get our heads down with alarms on, as breakfast is apparently served between 7.00-9.00am.
Ok, we've had about three and a half hours sleep but we're up and breakfasting at 7.05...
The back of my left leg is now purple and black.
But finally, a coffee... 

 

 

                                                                                                                

 

The coaches turn up at 9.25 and we're seated.
Ok, let's try again shall we ?
 

We'll probably have to go through the same rigmarole again... Which we do, including having to fill out yet another leaving card, but this time it's minus the key crap.
Whilst we are all sitting and waiting to get into departures, we start talking to an Asian family sitting next to us, comparing hotels and that sort of thing. It's a Mum, two teenage daughters and a young lad,
and guess what they disliked the most ?
Bet you've forgotten my first post, haven't you ?
The absolute gluttony of some of the guests.
But unlike us who had not witnessed it previously, they had.
The piggery of the Russian clientele which they had first encountered seven years previously,
so it's not a new thing and they disliked the waste and greed as much as we did.
Nice to know we were not alone in our thinking.
Mum said it made her so angry but there is nothing to be done as the hotels won't stop it
as it would affect customer numbers.
So how's that for depicability then ?
Fucking Russians.
Civilized countries should bar them from travelling, that would stop it.
Finally, we're in and Sharm airport departures have a Smoking Lounge.
Ok, so the coffee in there tastes as if it's arabica beans filtered through camel piss, and the price
is astronomical, but it's coffee.
Personally I think that all airports should have a sign up outside stating that 'You are now entering
the airport premises. Don't travel unless you are prepared to get completely screwed over by the
prices of everything we sell in here'.
That would at least be an honest advertisment for their wares.
But it's not just here, is it ? Our local one Luton is equally as bad, and don't even get me started
on Heathrow...
A final observation on the smoking lounge.
It seems to be a lot more peaceful than the rest of the airport. Ok, people in there are smoking and
vaping but there's no hassle. People aren't treading all over you or trying to push in front of you.
Therefore I believe every airport should have one.
But try telling that to the current crop of UK politicians.
Another hour spent waiting for the bus to turn up to get us to the aircraft and then another three
quarters of an hour spent standing up in it because there aren't enough seats before it finally
takes us to the outside edge of the airport where our aircraft awaits.
And finally we are actually on board.
Not sat together mind, but at least we're across the aisle from each other.
The flight staff are apologetic about yesterday's absolute fuck-up which was apparently caused
by piss-heads out of Luton getting drunk and stupid, and so before fisticuffs developed on board
they diverted to Cyprus and ejected them.
Had it not been for the work regulations intervening, we could have flown out last night,
but unfortunately they did.
Too many hours would have been worked by the staff.
This means that now the plane has actually turned up there is no food upon it unless you
want noodles or pasta or some tapas thing, but the croissant'y bread stuff that they advertise
for their meal deal isn't on the flight, so no meal deal, just full price everything...
Typical !
We get to Luton four hours later.
Thankfully, the bus is there so we don't have to pay for a taxi home.
It's possibly the only good thing to have occurred on the whole return trip.
And to end with a couple of items that may be of interest if you are considering a trip out
to Sharm El Sheikh. Yes, we can wholeheartedly recommend the hotel we stayed in
(details in the blog) No, we didn't go to visit the Pyramids because the flights to Cairo from
Sharm are £250.00 each, and the bus trip which is cheaper is one of eighteen hours so we
decided against it. Maybe next time, as we'd like to return to the hotel with Sibo.   Weather wise, it's about 22-24 degrees during daylight hours but if the breeze gets up later, then that will drop a bit, and you have to remember all this took place in the last week of November so it wasn't bad, considering...

And there you have it, a week in Sharm El Sheikh, the good bits, the bad bits, the amusing
bits and the fun bits.  It'll give you some idea anyway...

PART SIX :  WHERE WE MEET MOTT, AND GREET A PREVIOUS INHABITANT OF THE BLOG...

So that evening we dressed up and went to the hotel's Meet and Greet do...
Three large trestle type tables full of free alcoholic cocktails and three of the same
full of non-alcoholic cocktails.
Coffee's and tea's available from the swimming pool area's bar.
Just to give you some idea of a holiday-maker's mentality, the alcoholic cocktails
were gone in literally three minutes whilst the non-alcoholic's took about ten minutes.
Haddy had mint tea and I had a straight white coffee.
It got a little noisy which didn't worry us too much, but the sea wind had got up
somewhat and by about ten-thirty we decided to head back to the room because
we're old, and we feel the cold...
It only went on until about 11.30 so I think we coped reasonably well.

And so we're on our second to last day and at 9.30 I'm at the pool while Haddy has
gone back to the room to have a lie-in.
Dunno where all the punters have gone ?
There's only me and three others around the pool.
An hour later and it's gone up to six...
They can't have all gone home, they'd never have been let into the airport the state
some of them were in last night, let alone onto a 'plane.
Oh well, whatever.
It's quiet anyway.
Haddy joins me at about eleven for half an hour and says she'd like to walk around the
hotel and take a few more photo's before we leave.
Ok, fine by me, I'll just go up and change and meet her back down here.
Sorted.
Fifteen minutes later and I'm back and ready, although to be fair, I'm not the most
photogenic person as I tend to squint my eyes into bright sunlight or glare, and there's a fair
bit of that out here.
Right, let's get at it.
We start the other side of our rooms on the roadway down to the beach.
It's on the side that has the children's swimming pool, but it also has a small green area
with a couple of trees, shrubbery around the outside and a bench type seat upon it.
That'll do for starters.
No sooner do we sit and get our bearings than a family group (I think) of birds flutters
down to the edge of the green area.
They're a brownish colour with very long beaks and a grey/black stripey set of tail feathers, and I have no idea what they are?
It looks like Mum bird and a couple of younger ones are staying put, but Dad bird stalks
over to us to say hello.
It's not what I was expecting as usually if you move and you are close to them it scares
them and they fly away.
Not this one however.
He's basically about a yard/metre away from my feet and he just looks up at me, then
continues to stick his beak into the ground in front of him whilst walking around my feet.
Ok, so let's see if I can get a few photo's then.
So I stood up to do so, then crouched down slightly so I was closer to the ground...
He just looks up at me and carries on with what he was doing and I took a few snaps.
Then, when he'd finished what he was doing, he walked back to the other three and they
flew up into one of the roadside trees.
Weird or what ?
It literally seemed as if he came over to greet us and to say hello and welcome us to his patch.
Anyway, getting in front of myself, I posted one of the pic's when I got home to find out
what it was, and it turns out that it was a Hoopoe, which my friend Bob immediately
christened 'Mott'.
Unless you're into 1970's rock music you probably won't get the punning reference but
there was a group named Mott the Hoople (as opposed to Mott the Hoopoe) who had a few
hit records back then, and so Mott, has become in my mind at least, synonymous with our
bird friend that we met in Egypt.
So here's a pic' or two...

                                

                                                                                          

We then took a few more photo's and adjourned for lunch...

And when we'd finished our snack we went out to the outside bar area where we found a free table and dumped our stuff.  Haddy says she'll go in for the drinks, drops her jacket onto the chair and I wait for her to return quite happily sitting there and guess who walks over, jumps up and makes themselves very comfortable on her jacket ?

Well, there's probably only the one that would definitely have the downright cheek and front to do that isn't there ?

Have you got it yet ?

You definitely would had you got a cat in the family...                     

Bloody cheek.  

And it's obviously decided that was the seat it wanted, and he/she was definitely going nowhere fast...

So Haddy returns with the drinks, spots the cat and sits down in the seat next to it.  The cat looks up and then just continues with it's grooming.

Haddy meanwhile, being quite used to cats, is gently asking it to please vacate that particular chair as she doesn't really want cat hair all over her jacket.

The cat meanwhile, just continues with it's grooming for about the next fifteen seconds then stands up upon the chair, looks at Haddy, stretches itself and jumps down from the chair.  Then it walks a couple of yards away, turns around, looks at Haddy again, then turns and walks off, still very much in command of the situation.  And people wonder why the Egyptians used to worship them ?  Seems quite obvious and logical to me.

Honestly, you wouldn't have believed it had you not seen it for yourselves.

I think there should be a word that describes that sort of thing as a dictionary definition, and I subscribe to the word 'Cattitude'.  It should be in every dictionary as a definition of a cat's attitude toward humanity. It's going to do what it wants when it wants to, and you have absolutely no say whatsoever in it's decision. And THAT, is most definitely Cattitude.

PART FIVE : 'IT'S THE ALL-INCLUSIVE SHOW PART TWO: WHERE EVERYTHING IS DISSED AND CUSSED... BUT KINDNESS FINALLY APPEARS...'

 PART FIVE: 'IT'S THE ALL-INCLUSIVE SHOW PART TWO...
WHERE EVERYTHING IS DISSED AND CUSSED... BUT KINDNESS FINALLY APPEARS...'

So the last blog' post was where we discussed everything, and this follow up post
is where things get dissed and cussed.
That's not to say some won't find bits of it interesting or any of that, but it is likely to be
somewhat contentious for some people.
That's not my problem however, it is theirs.
And the reason that some won't like it, is because they carry an ideology around
with them that quite honestly stinks, and the best thing they can do with it is give it
a good wipe next time they drop their underwear.
Or to put it another way, if you're full of shit then take a laxative because it's not my
problem.

Right, that's the intro' out of the way, so let's get started...
When I wrote the notes that this blog' is based upon, we were three thousand miles
away from our home in another country that we'd never been to before in our lives and
therefore I have tried to separate the perspectives which has not been too difficult so far.
So I'll spell it out straightforwardly. It is an English perspective and an African perspective
and therefore it has differing viewpoints depending on what is occurring and what is being
said by the participants within.
Pretending that some things do not exist or pretending that things do exist because of an
ideological point of view will get you absolutely nowhere.
Things are.
That is called reality, and people, including you, me and us, have to deal with it.
It might not be to our liking, but at least it's honest.
If we've had to go through it, and we comment upon it from our perspective and viewpoint
having gone through it, then it's tough shit if you don't like our attitude because we are speaking
from a viewpoint of knowledge ie Been There, Done That, Bought the T-Shirt...
Whereas someone who has never been through the same circumstances wouldn't have a clue
as to what is true and what isn't.
It's easy enough to work out, but surprisingly some don't like the truth, even if it's presented to
them free on a plate.

So we're half way through our week long break, it is also my wife and I's wedding anniversary
today and we've both remembered to bring anniversary cards to give each other on the day.
Cue laughter when we wake up in the morning and give each other the cards.
(She didn't think I'd remember to bring one, but I knew she'd remember hers for me...)
So we start the day with laughter, despite the news not being too good.





Both of us have people we know that are currently suffering health problems back in their
respective countries.
Her Uncle has had a stroke and is currently hospitalized in The Gambia, where the amount of
medication he receives depends on how much paracetemol he can pay the hospital for.
It seems that people falling seriously ill out there have a choice, paracetemol or nothing.
That is the extent of the country's healthcare.
And we've seen that over and over again, and you would think and expect some of their politicians
to do something about it, but why should they bother when they can afford to jet into Senegal, the nearest
country, and get treated there because it has a proper healthcare system.
So that's not good and we are both worried.
And then there's my friend who keeps having fall's.
He has had to walk with a stick to keep him upright after an industrial accident a few years back at work and he's struggling.
He had two falls prior to us going away, the first one kept him in hospital for seven weeks and the second for three days.
According to another friend who is basically looking after him and caring for him currently, he's just had a third so things are not looking good as far as family and friends are concerned right now...
And yes, we are both worried and at our wit's end when we receive another message or call about either
of them.
So with that to contend with, we turn the television on to view the BBC's World Service as that seems to be the only English speaking channel on the hotel's television apart from an American one and the last thing either of us need right now is another mouthful of complete and utter shite from either Donald Trump or Elon Musk.
Neither of whom represent humanity in any way, shape or form.
So what's occurring in good old Blighty, then ?

Well, Storm Bert has hit and has disrupted everything big time.
Flights in and out are being cancelled left, right and centre because of the winds.
The trains are at a standstill, because of either flooding or trees down across the tracks, and a lot of the roads in and out of towns, cities and villages are flooded and not useable.
Rivers have overflowed their banks and the whole country seems to be at a standstill until it passes over...
Glad we're not there, he says, cynically...
Hopefully, daughter Sibo is able to get to work and back home, so Mum will send her a text a bit later to find out how she's doing, as she works twelve hour shifts as a nurse at the local hospital and that can't be good right now.
Oh yeah, daughter Sibo... Anyone who used to read the previous Scrawl of the Wild blog' will recognise the name, I'm sure.  Well there was a reason the Blog' stopped and that was because we, as a family, were about to take on the British government's Home Office and try and get our younger children into the UK and we did not want any distractions because of the Blog'.
However, that's all past and gone.  
You win some and you lose some, and we'll get to that in time I'm sure, but right now, let's continue checking out the news from back home...
Of course the first news report we saw after the Storm Bert segment concerned us and where we were.
A tourist boat had capsized in the Red Sea, not far away from where we were staying, and so far they are reporting fifteen lives lost and the search for survivors going on as we were watching.
Jesus. That is not good.  There seem to be a few tourist type boats capsizing recently.
They've only just had one do it in the mediteranean with a serious loss of life.
What is it with these things.  
They seem to be capsizing with every large wave.
It makes you wonder how safe a boat trip is these days ?
And yet more news from the UK...
Apparently nine and a half million people are now on benefits.
You do realise that is over ten percent of the complete population of the British Isles, don't you ?
And why is that I wonder ?
It couldn't possibly be that the vast majority of them have learned to play the system, can it ?
Oh no, I can't work, I have this, that or the other, or I need to drink at least half a bottle of vodka a day
and have at least five spliffs before I can even wake up...
I'm talking about our previous neighbours here, just in case you were wondering...
Who, when finally moved by the council, had done over thirty thousand pounds worth of damage
to the house...
A Mother and three daughters.
I mean, seriously... Are we giving benefits to people, sorry, scumbags like that ?
Apparently we are, and guess who is paying for it ?
Yep. Pensioners like yours truly, and working stiffs like my wife and daughter.
So it's not good news under any circumstances.
And then there are small businesses being hit by our wonderful new Labour government's
National Insurance hike.
Yes, they've put it up so that small businesses will now find it an even bigger struggle to take
on more staff when they can, which of course means that there will be even less jobs available
for people to apply for, meaning that even more benefits will have to be paid out.
And guess who is likely to be taxed even harder to pay for it ?
Those who are trying to cope with a severely taxed income currently.
Fucking Hell !
Oh Jesus, here we go again...
Some vaguely Brown-ish bloke (or Black, whatever. You get the drift I'm sure) has just come on
and is bemoaning the fact that the new version of the Band-Aid single has been released to help
some of the starving population in parts of Africa...
And he's complaining that it's 'White' people doing it ?
What the fuck does he expect ?
If some of these bemoaners had actually set foot on the African continent then they would soon
find out that there is so much graft and corruption throughout their so-called service industries that
very little actually reaches the people that need it.
Add to that what can only be described as a 'Back-Pocket Political Hierarchy' where, should you
go into politics and get enough followers, then the bribes you receive from busineses will enable
you to build your own palace and be set for life.
And that's not even mentioning those countries ruled by armies, junta's, or religious nut-jobs...
I mean, has this twat ever set foot on the continent ?
And he's complaining that White people are doing something to help some of the poorest people
on the planet ?
Honestly, you couldn't make it up...
And yes, there will be those who take those last few lines as written and want to make it into something
it isn't.
But my attitude and view are quite simple.
Get off your fat fucking arse and do something about it, and stop whining about others who are actually
trying to help.
And yes, I've been there, done that, and bought the bleedin' t-shirt in case you're interested.
Get out there and experience what it is like for yourself, and if you are not prepared to do that then at
least have the decency to shut the fuck up about something you know fuck-all about.
But then if they did that, they wouldn't be able to hide behind their 'Victim' culture, would they ?

Oi ! what's with the adverts ?
The BBC claims it doesn't do advertisments.
But their World Service has just stopped for one for holidays in Dubai ?
Bloody hypocrites.
I shall be contacting Laura Kuesenberg when I return...   
Got to turn the bloody thing off, they've just stuck up a picture of Donald Trump...
Only Amerika could elect such a self-serving shit for brains as President.
Hmmm...  That's not strictly true. Russia and North Korea managed it too...
Ok, rant over...

Time to get up for breakfast before we spend another day relaxing by the pool.
And... We were early enough to get a couple of sunloungers.
It's our wedding anniversary, so let's just relax, please...

It's all calm and peaceful by the pool.
I'm writing up notes and Haddy is reading her book and nobody is shouting their
stupid heads off, so I think we're good.

The time is just approaching eleven o'clock Egypt time and so it must be about time
for a quick dip, as that's what swimming pools are for...
Well, it is for me anyway.
If we're quick enough over our snack for lunch, then we might even be able to do it
again this afternoon, well, that's the plan...

Blimey ! What's all this then ?
Say two voices in harmony when we get back to the room to change for lunch.
The room cleaners have been in and there is a heart made from coiled towels in the
middle of the bed.
Word seems to have got round...
What a lovely gesture, I'm impressed.
That was nice because there was seriously no need to do it.

Change, eat, and back out again to the pool.
And... Sunloungers.
Must be our lucky day...

 Oh, come on... You've got to be joking...
The woman on the other side of the swimming pool to us has decided to lay back on
the sunlounger with her legs wide apart and her knees in the air...
It really isn't the best sight I've ever seen.
Not even close if you want the truth.
She has however covered her head...
Obviously a sense of decorum is not her thing.
Two hours later she finally shuts up shop to coin a phrase...
It does make you wonder sometimes.
I think we've both seen better views...

 

But it's now time for us to get up and change back into street-clobber as we're going out to
investigate the bazaars up the road.
Except we're five minutes into changing and there's a knock at our door.
A waiter dressed guy is there with a trolley and he enquires if we are room 5223 which we are,
and he softly says he has something for us, before taking the covering off a cake and bringing it
into our room, where he carefully places it on our room table and wishes us a
Happy Wedding Anniversary from all at the hotel...
At which moment a towell clad wife pokes her head out of the bathroom, and I say 'I think you'd
better come out here and see this, love...'
Which she does, looking blankly at the waiter.
'The hotel have made us a wedding anniversary cake, love...'
She looks again, and it slowly dawns upon her as to what I have said.
Suffice it to say that the waiter got thanked and tipped or it might have been tipped and thanked,
but whichever way round it was, it occurred.
And then there were hugs and gentle sobs.
That moment was a bit special to say the least...
And I think it only fair and proper to say that neither myself nor my wife have EVER been treated
like that before whilst staying at a hotel.
It was a total surprise to the pair of us and it was a beautiful gesture by the management who needn't
have done it at all.
It was definitely a special moment in our lives and I sincerely thank them for it.
Can I recommend this hotel ?
Aw, come on... What do you think ?
Damn right I can.
I have no idea what the rest of Sharm El Sheikh's hotels are like, but the Ivy Cyrene Hotel I can
recommend wholeheartedly.
This hotel is a bit special.

 

It was a bit of a come-down going shopping after that, but we walked up the road to the left of the
hotel's entrance whilst looking at the mountains in the distance opposite, while holding hands
like a couple of lovebirds, which I suppose we are, really.

And even writing about it now, a month after the event, it still stirs the emotion within.
It really was a kind and beautiful gesture.
But reality beckons...
Six bazaar like shops and we hit every one of them except the one selling alcohol.
No real reason for that, except it was probably going to be cheaper in the duty-free at the airport.
All name brands.
But more tea's, more t-shirts, more key-rings, more perfumes, and a mug for me because
I liked the cat on it...
I hope those receiving them when we get back home appreciate what we had to go through
to get them...
There's a 'do' on tonight by the swimming pool below our room, and all the entertainment staff
are out in force exhorting everyone to go.
I think we might just turn up instead of sitting in the bar...

 PART FOUR: 'IT'S THE ALL-INCLUSIVE SHOW... WHERE EVERYTHING IS DISCUSSED...'

So when I'd booked the holiday, I'd booked 'All Inclusive' so let us take a moment to understand
what that means in the context of this particular holiday.
It means we wear a blue wristband that shows us to be all-inclusive clients of the hotel.
It means we get fed three times a day should we wish to be.
It also means that when we are outside the dining area, such as in one of the hotel's
cafe/cum bar areas, even the beach one, we get free tea's and free coffee's and free rum and
cokes and free brandy and cokes and free gin and tonics and free vodka and oranges and
free beers and all the rest...
Which was definitely not how I'd envisioned it when I booked it.
If you wanted something like a Jack Daniels and coke let's say, then you would have to pay
for the Jackie D, but all the rest is homegrown merchandise and not imported with a huge tax
upon it.
They even do homemade Guinness...
I've had the Nigerian variety but prefer the Irish so I think I'll pass on that one, thanks.
I'll tell you what, with the amount of tea and coffee we consume it's been an absolute Godsend.
Plus, if you like to end an evening meal with a brandy in a black coffee (me) then you are totally
sorted...
I definitely like this, and can only recommend it.

So what are the staff like, as when you are staying away from home then you definitely have
to depend upon them, if and when problems should occur ?
I would have to say uniformly good to excellent.
If they are not winning and you are getting a little confused then they call somebody else over
whose command of English (ours) or whatever language, is slightly better than theirs,
so you can't really fault them.
They are definitely doing their best for everyone staying here, and when you are trying to take a
break from life's travails then that means such a lot.
Those whose job includes selling things from the hotel's inbuilt bazaar are a different kettle of fish
however.
Their job is to sell, and they are pretty good at it.
The problem is, there are at least four currencies being used to do so, and it gets a little confusing
sometimes.
So there are Egyptian pounds, British pounds, American dollars and Euro's in operation.
Confused ? Definitely.
And what is worse is that Haddy is what I would describe as a 'New Age' tea drinker' and we have
at least fifteen different varieties back at home, ranging from Mint, Peppermint, Sorrell,
Mango and Coconut and that's not even counting my PG Tips and Mariama's Yorkshire
(Kate Rusby (excellent British Folk Singer) would be proud of her...) and the Decaff' we keep in for those who want or need it for health reasons.
So to discover that the hotel's bazaar shops keep another (Gawd'elp'us) seventeen different types
of tea that she hasn't tried yet, all of which have (apparently) health giving properties, is like a curse
on the purse or wallet.
And that's not even mentioning the potions and powders...
The expression 'Just say No' does not seem to occur.
But they're ok if you do say no, and they are quite helpful in finding stuff that they know they have
but cannot find (key-ring with Egyptian cat motif) which took them from between just after breakfast
to the middle of the afternoon to find for me...
So no complaints really, because they are good at what they are supposed to be doing, which is
SELLING.
I grew up working in a sales environment and did it for forty-odd years, ending up by owning two
shops so I know a little about that sort of thing, and as far as music is concerned, I'm still doing it for
a few friends, but NOT to the rip-off merchants on the internet.
Today, the t-shirts that Haddy bought were a tenner each in British pounds, then they revised that
price into dollars, then it got revised again into Egyptian pounds and you get about four thousand
of those to one hundred British pounds and you've got all the translation calculations going on in
your head at the same time, so confused ?
Totally.
Let's see what occurs tomorrow when we are supposed to be walking about five to ten minutes
down the road outside the hotel's entrance, where apparently there are five or six bazaar like shops.
That's going to be interesting...
Even more so, it's going to be our wedding anniversary... AND I remembered to bring the
anniversary card with me in the luggage.

Now I mention that because it has a bearing on the staff, so get this...
That evening I had gone into the bar to replenish drinks and it was a bit busy so I had to queue.
And a guy comes over, one of the staff with his neck card with name and job description on it
and asks me how are we getting on at the hotel, is everything alright and are we enjoying our
break ?
The job description reads 'Animation Officer' so I enquire what that is, because to be honest,
I'd never heard of one previously, unless he's the guy who allows cartoons to be shown to children ?
He laughed, and told me it's another term for Entertainment Officer and was I enjoying the hotel's
entertainment ?
Well...
'Errr, yeah, everything is fine.  The staff are great and neither my wife or I have any complaints,
the hotel is easy to get round, the food is good, everybody working there has been helpful wherever
we'd been, so yeah, no complaints.'
'And the hotel's entertainment program ?'

'Well, it's a bit too disco-ish and karaoke for me, given my age, background and all, but it's keeping
the thirty to fifty year olds happy, so it must be doing it's job.
I'll tell you something that surprised me though, there is no indigenous Egyptian folk music on the hotel's entertainment program. You can learn a lot from the folkie traditions. Somebody like Hamza El Din (who I've been buying for myself since 1978) as a for-instance.
Artists like that who play their own traditions.'
I think the fact that I knew about Hamza totally flummoxed him, because he actually asked me to clarify that I listened to Hamza's music at home in the UK ?
'Yep ! Got three of his cd's and they seem to get played reasonably regularly, and I'm always on the
lookout for more.  Trouble is, being a pensioner these days doesn't leave a lot of money for buying
from those who love ripping people off on the internet, but enough of my problems, it's our fifteenth
wedding anniversary tomorrow, so give me a suggestion as to what I can buy my wife for an
anniversary present ?'
'You have been married fifteen years ? Congratulations to you both. I'm afraid I'm not very good with
suggestions, but you might try the bazaar's, five minutes walk away...'
'Cool, I'll do that. I'm sure I'll find something...'
And that was the extent of our conversation because I was being served and Haddy was awaiting
her peppermint tea.
Nice bloke.
Seemed interested, and that's about all you can really ask for...

And 'Here Endeth the Lesson' as someone once said.  But don't worry, we will return to it in tomorrow's
missive (so long as I get the time to write it) which just might have a bit about wedding anniversaries in, as well as me having a rant over stupidity, ideology, and hypocrisy, but you'll just have to wait a bit longer for that to appear...

PART THREE: A BIT ABOUT COOL CATS, NOISY BIRDS, AND ALL THAT OTHER BEACH BABY STUFF...

PART THREE:  A BIT ABOUT COOL CATS, NOISY BIRDS, AND ALL THAT OTHER BEACH BABY STUFF...

Another day dawns, and we seem to be racing through them.
Today, the plan is to hit the beach because we haven't been down there to see it yet.
But we have also worked out a better routine after watching the gluttons at breakfast.
We eat, and then we take our coffee's from the bar above instead of the dining room.
We can sit outside, there are a lot less people and we can sit and ruminate, vegetate,
and talk over what we're going to do without the dining room's noise.
It's a much more civilized way of doing things.
Well, that was the plan anyway...

 No sooner have we got our coffee's, found a free table and sat out, than the noise starts up.
But it's not any of the guests, it's a family of crows that seem to live in the rafters of the roof.
And we thought the dining area was noisy ?
Bloody Hell, noisy tourists have nothing on this bunch.
A guest comes out with his drink, finds a free table directly underneath a couple of the crows.
They both look down in seeming amusement, and one just turns around and craps down the
back of the guy's shirt.
Yeuk !
And we're not talking about a gentle dump here, either.
It was more like a fully fledged assault with a deadly guano.
Of course, he feels the weight of it when it hits, and he is off cursing them, and throwing his plastic
beaker full of water at the pair of them.
Not that they seem to give a shit what he thinks...
I'm glad that we decided to sit in the sun and not under the roof...
They definitely think that they're in charge and everyone staying is there for one reason only,
and that's to feed them...

Twenty minutes later, we've drunk up and are ready to get on with the day when the hotel's owner
appears...
You can tell that they own everything in sight and are in charge of everything that goes on by
their absolute regal bearing and the way that they just appear and take over everything that is
happening or going on.
You're sitting in my chair, so I suggest you move. You have five seconds to comply otherwise I shall
be sitting on you.
Sorry. You were too late in moving... And if you so much as try and get me off your lap, I will happily take your face off...
Not to put too fine a point on it, but the hotel's cat seems to have turned up and he or she is not about to
argue with anybody.
It's their way or no-way.
Having had our own cats in the family, we just settle down again and watch with amusement.
'Another coffee dear' ?
'Yes please...'
'Ok, give me a couple of minutes and I'll be back...'
This should be amusing...

So it's just seen off a family of three people with one withering look.
They made to sit at the same table as the cat, and the cat just leaned forward and held up a paw.
Then he released the claw, which looked like one of those old 1950's black and white American
youth gang films when a flick-knife is brought into the action.
They couldn't move fast enough.
Then it stretched, calmly stood up and jumped off the chair, walking disdainfully past us to get
to the path to the swimming pool or the road archway.
Ok, fun's over.
Time to split for the beach.

It's strange how things change over the years, isn't it.
I wonder how many people reading this are doing the same as us, these days ?
Consider. We have been here three days out of seven and we still haven't been to the
beach, paddled in the sea, or any of that stuff.
And yet, probably ten years ago, nothing would have stopped me from charging down to
the beach and dipping my toes in the water on the first day there so long as it wasn't pissing
down and even sometimes when it was.
Things definitely change...
Anyway, although we haven't been there yet, we can see the sea from the hotel and it looks quite
easy to get there, either by a five minute walk downhill, or by waiting for the 'Beach Bus' which stops
in the road that cuts our hotel complex into two parts and appears every ten minutes.
Ok, decision made, we're walking because we can't be arsed to wait and queue.
Apparently, when we get down there, our hotel has a bit of private beach, but I can't help
feeling it's going to be a bit crowded...

The walk down was quite easy, you get to the bottom, cross the coast road and immediately
walk into a beach area with a cafe, then another twenty yards to the sand and the water and you're
on the beach, which I might add, is absolutely packed with humanity and some not even close...
Ye Gods, it's rammed...
Not a single sunlounger free and scarcely a piece of sand left to sit upon.
Oh well, we can always stand around and take photo's...
The 'Private' beach is about 60 metres wide beachfront wise with the cafe/bar at the back right-hand
side and a small shop nearer the water on the other.
That same side holds a basketball court and a boulles pitch (that's a French game of Bowls if you
don't know) so there is not a lot of room to stretch out.
The beach itself holds a couple of jetty's, one where the speedboats moor and one where you can
actually walk above the sea and find your required depth before diving into the briny...
There are signposts everywhere with all the 'do's' and 'don't's' in multiple languages but the beachguards
and lifeguards are still telling off the idiots who ignore them.
It's not that difficult.  Most are put up for people's own safety but idiots abound in any language so they
are definitely the busiest people at the beach.

 

 

The views across the bay are absolutely beautiful and occasionally a container ship passes by right
in front of us, but enough of this waffle.
Haddy has just discovered that we can walk straight across the beach front to the right of us to look for
shells...
It's obviously not part of the hotel's beach because parts of it are sadly covered in litter...
You know, the usual.  Cans, crisp packets, biscuit packets and bits of broken bottle so you have
to be careful where you put your feet, but one inch deep in water seems to do the trick.
And, very few people are on it, so sitting on an upturned rock while she pokes around at the water's
edge is fine by me.
Ok, we're done. Time to get a coffee from the cafe before we head back up the hill to the hotel and
just a snack for lunch.
I think if we are going to be beach bound, then we are going to have to get there by about eight in
the morning for any chance of a pair of sunloungers.
I'm also struck by the pair of carved mermaids in front of the cafe.
They really do look like whoever carved and cast them had a picture of Joni Mitchell in front of them
while they were doing it.

PART TWO: A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS TO START THINGS OFF (WITH MAYBE A BIT OF ROOM TO MANOEUVRE... WHATEVER ?)

 A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS TO START THINGS OFF.
(WITH MAYBE A BIT OF ROOM TO MANOEUVRE... WHATEVER ?)

It's daylight outside...
Better haul ourselves out of bed and see what we've got ourselves into, hadn't we.
First things first, shower and find a few clothes we hadn't travelled in.
Make the first coffee of the day with the accoutrements the staff had left next to the room kettle.
You know the thing, paper tube of coffee, a couple of tubes of sugar and baby sized cartons of milk.
That'll do for now because breakfast is calling, if my stomach is anything to go by, but before we go,
what's the room like ?
Clean for starters, practical as well.
Wardrobes on the right as you come in, with bathroom opposite to the left.
Walk into the main room and the bed is on the left and the television hanging on the wall
to the right above a long bench set with the kettle on top and a refrigerator inset at floor level.
Past the beds and a small round table with two small wooden chairs to the left.
Keep on moving and the patio doors to the balcony are in front of you, and as already noted,
there's a small table and two chairs out there when one wants to take the air.
So I'd definitely describe the room as adequate and functional.
It's definitely big enough for the pair of us for a week, anyway.

Along the corridor and downstairs to the main reception bit and then walk a little further and
down a spiral staircase and we're in the dining room.

Jeezus !  It's rammed with people, all of whom seem to be doing balancing acts with plates
with food on...
Trying to find a table is difficult. We'll definitely have to get here earlier in the future.
Finally we find a two-seater and plonk ourselves into the chairs.
We've got clean cutlery so it's just a question of which of us goes first until we've sussed it out.
Haddy takes the first run...
It's all self service from a large buffet style area with fruit and salad'y things against the wall behind
the buffet table.

There's a guy doing fried eggs and omelettes as you wait, over in the corner and at the
other end of the room is the coffee/hot water machine for tea's and coffee's.
Mine's a 'Flat White' and Haddy's is an 'Expresso' so we're sorted.  

 

There's very little in the way of English being spoken, or so it seems currently.
I have no idea what language seems to be taking precedent at the moment, but spotting
somebody wearing a sweat shirt with CCCP on, it would seem that the Complete Cock-Sucking
Cunt Putin's are taking over...
In other words, most would seem to be Russian.
Haddy's gone for omelette and salad with a bit of fruit and I've gone for the omelette with beef and
chicken sausage, and as we eat, we look around to observe our neighbours...    

I suppose shock is the word that comes to mind most easily.
Complete and utter shock.
Absolute piggery is the phrase I would use to describe what we observed, that and complete
and utter shock that people could be that greedy.
Wherever you looked, people were piling food onto their plates until some would fall off in protest
at having to balance atop something else...
People might have been piling it onto their plates, but they weren't eating it all so you couldn't say it was
because they were starving, as at least a third of it was being left on their plates when they'd get up
to leave, sometimes more...
Christ !  It was horrible to see, and all the restaurant staff could do was bin the leftovers.
Sheer piggery and such a waste.
It made the pair of us feel quite ill, and we were only watching it.
It was horrible to see, given that half the world is starving...
Ugh !  It still makes me so angry just to have witnessed it.
And it's all age groups. Old, young, they were all at it.
It makes you wonder how far down humanity has sunk when you witness it.
Sheer absolute greed, and the winner is the one with the most on their plate.
And you can't even avert your eyes, it's the table next to us on either side,
the table behind us, the table here, the table there...
Definitely not nice to have seen it, and we've got another six days of it to witness...

Finally, we've choked down ours and it's time to leave and do a bit of exploring...
So, where to go first ?
Around the hotel seems to be favourite, but where to start.
We overlook one of them, so we'll start with the swimming pools of which we've seen three
so far, dunno if there are any more, but three will do.

We overlook the 'adult' pool. No children allowed in it.
The children's pool is the other side of the road down to the beach and has slides and heaven
knows what around it. Ours just has sunloungers and a bar area to one side.

The other one we've seen is just outside the dining area and is slightly smaller than the bigger one
that our room overlooks.

And if you can't get a sunlounger, and you seem to have to get up very early to get one,
then you can sit on the bar's terrace which is above the dining room.
It's all quite sprawling in layout, but it seems to be easy to get to where you'd like to go.
I think we're just going to chill by the pool today.
Mainly because we're still both a bit knackered from the flight...

SO, WHAT'S THE HARM IN SHARM' ?

 

Last year was our 15th wedding anniversary, did you know that ?
Well, to be honest, unless you're family there is absolutely no reason why you should.
But because it was, and the Missus had a week off from work because she had to use up some holiday,
we decided to go away somewhere and relax in the sun,and, given the weather in the UK was absolutely bloody abysmal we decided to go to Morocco.
However, what with the floods in Spain, I thought I'd better check the long range weather forecast just to make sure we were going to be safe, Morocco not being that far off the coast of Spain on the other side of the Mediterranean.
Guess what ? The long range was awful. Wet and windy and a high of twenty degrees, so that was off then.
Check the cheap flights again and come up with Sharm El Sheikh in Egypt on the coast of the Red Sea.
The weather looks good on the long range. Twenty Six degrees sounds fine, it's like two am in the morning in the Gambia and we're quite used to that, so we thought we'd give it a go.
Why not. After all, we've never been there before, and it's only a week, so let's do it.

So... It's booked, and the critical phrase is 'All Inclusive' which covers all meals etc, plus, we've booked
the hotel's shuttle taxi/van to get us from the airport to the hotel both ways, in and out.
Two weeks later we're safely esconced at Luton airport awaiting our flight out.

Ok, two things about Egypt which might provide a headache or two if you haven't been there before
(and we hadn't) but I'd looked it up, and checked it out in the two weeks prior to going, and the first
thing is, You can't get any Egyptian pounds as they don't allow it to be taken out of the country.
If you're lucky, you can find a few at the airport (we did) but you can't order it from the bank or Post Office before you go.
The plan is, you exchange money at their end when you fly in.
And...
You need to apply for visas in advance, otherwise you have to do it at the airport when you're trying to get checked in for your boarding pass, and it takes ages and causes the queues to get even longer...
See... It helps if you know all this stuff in advance because when you're booking in at the airport you
certainly don't need any more aggro' than you're already going to get.
(Oh dear, did I set your bloody scanner off again... ?)
Time to hit the duty-free only to find out that those cunts from the Labour Party have decided to raise the price and the tax on tobacco products from £135.00 for ten pouches to £185.00 for ten pouches instead..
I knew it was a mistake to vote for a knight of the realm in charge of a party ostensibly from the working class...
And yes, that goes for the so-called Liberal Demo-twats as well.

 
And then, of course, there is a delay on the flight out...
Brilliant !!!
It's a four hour flight at the best of times, and this certainly isn't going to be one of those...
Mr Cynical seems to have taken over.
He usually appears when I'm at an airport...
Finally, we're allowed onto the aircraft and looking at the time, we are definitely going to get there late.
There's only snacks on board (cheap flights) but apparently they'll sell you an alcoholic beverage or two...
You couldn't make this stuff up, but that seems to be the way of the world these days.

After we've landed and identified our luggage we are given a form to fill in which should, if everything
has not gone tits-up totally, be the same as your visa details that you've already sent them, which come up on their immigration department's screens which you have just queued for forty five minutes to go through...
Made it...
We're through... Hang on, that bloke's got my name on a piece of cardboard...
Yes, I am he, and we are escorted to the back of the room while he finds the other three names on his list, for this is indeed the man with the hotel's shuttle van and he's ready and waiting and we're sorted...
Ok, we're sorted, as are two other couples, but he is missing one and they are definitely on the passenger manifest, so he's taken us all out to the van and gone back inside for another look.
Forty five minutes later, he's found our missing lady who apparently, has had her booked accomodation
changed within the last twenty four hours, so she is now NOT staying where she was actually booked into when Love Holidays accepted her booking.
Good 'ere, innit ?

But at least we're now out of the airport and moving...
By now it's midnight and we're knackered, not to put too fine an expression on it.
Fucked. Cream-Crackered. Exhausted. And bloody hungry too...
But finally, we're dropped off at our hotel which is not in the city centre, more outskirts I would have said, who welcome us profusely, apologising for any delay, and tell us to immediately go through into their restaurant where, now we've got our all inclusive wristbands on, we are going to get fed, because they have saved us a sort of snack because we were expected...
Blimey !   Didn't expect that.  
Yay... We've had a bit of food.  
Hmmm... I'm beginning to like this place already...
Then they take us to our room.
Second floor, overlooking a swimming pool and the odd tree and a few bushes as far as I can tell in the darkness.

 

Balcony, with two chairs and a small table on it outside through the patio doors.
Looks reasonable anyway.
The beds are two singles pushed together, but what the Hell, we can do anything else like unpack
in the morning.
Sleep...