Sunday, 7 July 2013

SCOTLAND (A HIGHLAND FLING...)







Scotland.
Haddy had flown to Glasgow as soon as my father’s funeral was over, for the birth of her daughter Fatou’s baby.
Fatou hadn’t helped matters in being late to deliver.
She’d been up there a week and still Fatou was waiting, and getting more and more fed up by the day.
Not that it was her fault, these things happen when everything is ready and not before, but to those in the family who are just waiting and not actually going through it, then the wait can seem interminable.
But, barring emergencies or problems, babies come when they are ready and not before, and that’s just the way it is.
Vincent, Fatou’s husband, had taken leave from his firm and was doing his best trying to cope with everything that was going on, and his wife.
Fatou, Vincent Jnr & Vincent Snr

Finally, little Vincent popped out into the world, looked around, and started crying. 
Proud Grandmum Haddy & Baby Vincent

The end of July was cold, it was wet, and he didn’t seem to like it one bit ?
Ok…
Now I can book a week off to go and get my wife and see a bit of Glasgow at the same time.

Scotland intrigues me.
I’ve only ever been once before when the poetry group I’m part of went to Edinburgh in 1996 to play the Edinburgh Festival.
That had been a lot of hard work but certainly enjoyable.
Trouble was, there was no real time off to do much other than rehearse and so anything we might have wanted to do or see had gone on the back burner.
This time, although I’d only be there for a week, it was going to be more relaxing…
I’d hoped to be able to hook up with some musicians I knew and at least buy them a couple of beers in their own city but they were away playing a festival, and when I arrived on the early morning flight from Luton to be met by Haddy and Vincent, the rain had moved in with a vengeance and was literally bucketing it down.
Hmmm…
That’s not good.
When we got back to their flat on the outskirts of the city, I found out that one of Fatou’s friends had decided to come from Wales to be with her at this time, bringing along her little baby girl as well.


Unfortunately she hadn’t told anybody in advance that she was coming, and so the flat was a little cramped to say the least…
Oh well, we’ll cope.
Haddy had thought that her actions were a little ‘questionable’ to say the least, but Fatou hadn’t felt like telling her to go straight back home and she certainly hadn’t got money to move into a hotel so we all crammed in…
Fatou was having a few problems and so she was still in hospital with baby Vincent, but by the sound of things they were going to discharge her that weekend so she’d be coming home as soon as Vincent  Snr received the phone call
And the rain came down and flood warnings were being broadcast everywhere.
Great !
Oh well, at least it’s a first floor flat.


Thank God they’d managed to move out of the tower block that they’d previously been in.

Now I will say this for the record before adding anything …
I don’t know enough about Glasgow to comment about their ‘social housing’ problems, but…
Those tower blocks are a serious cause for concern and the sooner they are flattened and some of the scum that infest them are moved out or better still, exterminated, then the city can maybe revitalise itself ?
Here’s a couple of cases in point…
One of Vincent’s friends, a pastor of one of the local churches, had been attacked by five ‘kids’ whose ages ranged from fourteen to eighteen, in the lobby of one when he tried to move past them to get in the lift and get to his own flat.
The ‘kids’ had been out of their minds on alcohol and drugs and all of them also lived in the building with their families.
The lobby is covered by CCTV and those watching the events take place on the monitor had decided not to call the police until the assault was over, because ‘they wanted to see what the kids would do next ?’
Christ !
They’d already seen the cunts kick the shit out of a man of God so what the fuck were they actually waiting for ?
But then if you live in the building yourself, you have to be careful don’t you ?
Yeah right !
And these people worked for the local council ?
Believe me, I’m not making this shit up.
The pastor was in hospital for a week after having a few bruises and broken ribs but at least he survived the attack…

The second case is a little more amusing…
A guy the pastor and Vincent both knew went to visit the pastor at his flat.
He too was accosted in the lobby by the same bunch of kids, but he made it to the lift and got in after issuing the kids a warning…
Unfortunately one of the kids didn’t go back to his alcohol and bag of glue.
He set off up the stairs to waylay the guy when he got out of the lift, so when the lift door opened it was one against one…
Five minutes later the lift door opens back in the lobby and the limp rag of one seriously beaten kid is lobbed straight at the other four with the warning that if any of the others wanted the same then bring it on…
All four still standing kids turned and ran.
Seems to me like one guy had the right idea ?
But if all this crap is being caught on CCTV and the council is doing nothing then there is definitely a problem at the council.
Isn’t there ?
The two older kids who beat up the pastor were going to be prosecuted but it was the youngest who started the attack and apparently the younger ones cannot be prosecuted ???
Doh !!!
What the fuck is wrong with Scottish law ?
Oh well, if you ever visit a tower block in Glasgow then bear it in mind and take a weapon…
A flame-thrower is probably favourite.
But I digress…

Billy Connolly used to make jokes about the Scottish people looking a sort of ‘blue’ colour because they always ate the wrong food and never got any sunlight.
He might have been making a serious point ?
Looking around at some of the people, it kept bubbling to the surface in my mind…
They DID actually look like that.
I know that down ‘South’ where I live, we tend to take the piss somewhat about the diet of deep fried Mars bars (I tried one in Edinburgh, it was a Mars bar covered in batter and deep fried with the fish and chips…) but bloody hell !!!  Some of these people look like they actually live on them ?
I have never, even in Africa, seen a more unhealthy looking population and that’s a fact.
It’s not everybody, but there do seem to be one hell of a lot of them…

 Poor old Fatou is lying in her hospital bed looking all ‘washed out’ when I first saw her and the baby.
Thankfully, he was asleep.
It turns out that she is down for discharge the following day, and so they will both be coming home.
This means that if it stops raining the way it is, I can go and explore the park opposite where she and Vincent live, with Haddy, after doing a bit of shopping with Vincent.
Right, shopping’s done and everything on the list she’s been given that she’ll need has been bought.
Now we can relax…
Difficult, with a six month old baby in the room, but not impossible.
Thankfully, she’s a happy little soul who just sits next to her Mum and gazes around at everything with her pretty round brown eyes.
Vincent seems to have thought of everything in advance back at the flat.
Not surprising, after all he’s an architect in reality and when he gets off from the office he teaches people to drive.
The extra money this brings in is definitely helping the pair of them.
Fatou used to be the manager of our local Tesco’s cafĂ© but she won’t be able to do that type of job for a bit.
Certainly not with the price of baby minders being what it is.

Finally she gets the all clear to go and so we all troop down to the hospital in Vincent’s car…
As we’re going down in the lift with another family, the Grandfather looks over at Vincent Jnr, takes stock of his size (he was a nine pounder) and says in a voice we can all hear
‘He’s a big ‘un… I bet I know what his name is, it’s ‘Shuggie…’
Perfect.
'Shuggie'



It started me off giggling, much to Fatou’s disgust, because he definitely WAS a little ‘Shuggie’.














Jeezus, isn’t this rain ever going to stop ?
I need to get out somewhere and stretch my legs, but the rain is still bucketing down and the balcony has two inches of water in it.
Right.
That’s the next job, unbung the drain holes and let some water out from the balcony.
At least it’s covered, and so were any passers by when I’d unblocked the holes.
Now it’s broom time to sweep away any excess…
It took half a day but the mission was finally accomplished.
The following day we’re looking at a cloudy sky but it isn’t raining so Vincent, Fatou and baby Vincent, Haddy and I pile into the car for a quick trip to the city centre.

It’s strange in Glasgow…  
All those things I’ve heard about musically over the years are there and reasonably easy to see.
The ‘Linn’ building where they made some of the best record decks ever.
Sauchiehall Street, famous for being mentioned in every newspaper and by that Connolly bloke whenever there’s a fight…
Glasgow city centre: Charity shops first stop...

To be honest, we didn’t get much further than that when the rain started up again, but I’d picked up a couple of cd’s and dvd’s from a couple of the local charity shops, after all, it always pays to look in different areas because they definitely won’t have the same stuff that you are used to looking at in your own locality.
Ok, back to the car and home again.
We’ll try again at some other time.
There are actually a lot of places to go and explore or see in Glasgow.
I hadn’t made a list or anything like that, but everywhere you went you saw signs for this gallery and that museum and I have to be honest, under different circumstances I could have wandered around quite happily trying to take them all in, but the rain wasn’t helping anybody or anything.
That was interminable…
It seemed to go on for ever.

Glasgow in the usual weather scheme...


Finally, with a couple of days left of the break, we’re back in Glasgow city centre where Vincent takes us to lunch at an ‘All you can eat for a specific price’ Chinese restaurant.
The food is fine and so we all leave a few pounds heavier than when we came in.
Thankfully we managed to get in before the lunchtime rush and it must be a popular establishment because it was absolutely ‘rammed’ at lunchtime.








When we finally leave, with overfull stomachs and bursting buttons the sun has come out.




It isn’t going to last, and one look at the sky is going to tell you that, but it does exist in Scotland…



You just don’t see it very often, that’s all.
When we got back to the flat the sky has turned grey again but the rain has held off, so finally Haddy and I manage to go for a walk around the park opposite the flat.


It was certainly different to any park local to us, in that the wildlife who live there don’t actually seem to give a damn whether humans are out and about or not ?
They just carry on with their own lives in full view of the population.
Rabbits come up from their burrows and hop about with humans approximately thirty feet away.
Foxes come and go across the paths, stalking this, that or the other, but not taking a blind bit of notice of any humanity that crosses their path.
Ok, if you got too close then they’d probably bolt, but they just looked, gauged the distance and carried on with whatever they were doing in the first place.


The water birds, listed and described as to what you might see on the park’s signage next to the lakes are also seemingly used to the local humanity, AND, the whole place seems to be policed by ‘Park Rangers’ who seem to be doing a bloody fine job in keeping the place friendly, reasonably litter free, and accessible to everybody. 

There is one old rusting ruin in the middle of it, boarded up so you can’t get too close, and obviously used by the odd wino or two if the bottles were any sort of evidence, but in the main, that is one amazing park.
Even with the kids playing football it seems a peaceful place ?


It’s walkable all around in a couple of hours, maybe a bit less, but the layout is good and there is always something different to see around the next corner.
All kudos to (I presume) Glasgow City Council for the layout.
I’m impressed.
Needless to say, when we finally get back to the flat it had started raining again.

On our penultimate night there, I decided to splash out on an Indian take-away from the shops underneath us.
No problem…
Fatou had made a specific request, but everything else was as usual in these cases.
Samosas, Naan bread, Bhaji’s, Popadums, all the trimmings, what seemed like a ton of rice and the odd Dhansak, Jalfrezi and Rogan Josh…
We ate like kings and queens.
And apart from Fatou’s specific request which was odd, to say the least, it was very nice.
I suppose you would have to say it was something that you might encounter in Scotland, but certainly nowhere else and as far as I’m concerned, it’s up there with the deep-fried Mars bar as something to be avoided, but Fatou liked it, so what the hell ? 
'Ectoplasm...'  The dreaded Haggis Pakoras...




Any guesses as to what this particular dish is ?
I actually posted a picture of it on Facebook with a request to see if anybody could identify it, and ‘Ectoplasm’ definitely made us laugh…
No ?
Give up ?
They are actually Haggis Pakoras…
And they are definitely an acquired taste !!!



Totally stuffed, we finally shuffled off to bed…
It’s going to be quite a sad day tomorrow when we leave.
We are actually getting the evening flight and so we have all day to say our goodbyes and wouldn’t you know, it had stopped raining for the day…
Unfortunately, it’s the usual thing.
Packing takes up most of your time and there is nothing else to do apart from say goodbye to all the neighbours and the shopkeepers downstairs.
We managed to get diverted to one of Fatou and Vincent’s friends on the way to the airport and so we are well past the check-in time when we finally arrive, but it keeps the final goodbyes to a minimum and we race through everything and finally sit down on the aircraft in totally different places.
If we’d got there earlier then we might have been able to sit together, but shit happens and we’re not, so it can’t be helped.
Another hour and we’ll be back in good old Luton.
(I use that phrase with a little difficulty because there never seems to be that much good ever happening in Luton…)
Well, another hour’s flight and probably another thirty minutes trying to get Haddy through whatever form of immigration hold-up that the powers that be are going to inflict upon her, but it’s where we get off, and it’s only about sixteen miles from home.
Surprisingly there is no immigration hold-up and we are both through without any major hold-ups, which is a first, for those interested in historical fact.
Catch the courtesy bus to the car park where I’d parked the car and we’re on our way home within forty minutes of landing.
The past week has been different, I’ll say that for it…
Hopefully, the weather has rained itself out, as Cropredy is a-coming in the next couple of weeks...
Yeah, I know, I must be having a laugh...
 



Wednesday, 8 May 2013

ENDINGS...






A message appeared on Facebook asking for help the following day…
It was absolutely pissing down with rain and half the expected volunteers hadn’t turned up to ‘tear down’ the stages.
The fact that they’d be working in a swamp probably had something to do with it, so after picking Haddy up from work,  I’d changed, bid Haddy goodbye, and said I’d see her when she was older.
I turned up at the site at four in the afternoon and was immediately put to work trying to lever out the stage stays.
All I can say is never again.
I’m ten and a half stone of fuck-all, and I really don’t have the height, weight and heft to pull out a three foot steel rod that’s been hammered full length into the ground.
Having said that, I did manage to get two complete stages sorted before my body gave out.
Jeezus, that’s a bastard of a job and I don’t envy anybody having to do it.
I did find out why we had to open late, however ?
Apparently one of the traders took his van from the metal roadway that he was supposed to stay on, and tried to get to his pitch via the mud and grass…
He didn’t make it.
The van stuck at a forty five degree angle in the mud and since Health and Safety officers were on site, they had refused to allow anybody in to the site until the van was made safe and ‘righted’.
Personally I’d have pushed it over onto its side and left it there.
It might be somewhat irresponsible, but if one selfish twat can cause that sort of delay, then get rid of aforesaid selfish twat.
Nobody asked him to leave the metal roadway, and since that it what it was for, anything else is his responsibility including leaving it.
Therefore as soon as he left it for his own selfish reasons, we should have the right to say ‘Ok, you caused the problem so we are going to sort it out our way and you will have to live with the consequences of your actions and stupidity’.
Unfortunately some of us are too nice.
I have no idea what the Priory are going to do about the site ?
They use it all year for wedding photography and right now it looks like the Somme in 1916…
Oh well…
I ended by taking Andy back to Biggleswade.
Because we have a reasonably self-contained unit we never usually get to hear about the in-fighting between some of the other stages and the people involved.
Face it, I was very pissed-off about the problems that I’d had to sort out, but that was just problems that impacted upon us.
Yes, some people could have been a little more professional, especially with regard to the stage, but when Andrew started listing the catalogue of disasters that he’d been affected with, you realise that it’s not just you.
It feels like it at the time, and every year you always hope that the last problem will be the last one and people learn from it, but it never seems to occur like that.
One problem one year always seems to bleed into another problem the following year and nobody seems to learn from their mistakes ?
Apparently the West-Indian contingent, who always support the Sound System stage are seriously hacked off by being ousted by a bunch of whitey wannabee DJ’s.
That isn’t good.
Guys like Levi have been supporting this festival since day one and although DJ Derek apparently had a couple of thousand people dancing at one point in his set, the support slots hadn’t really been up to it.
Oh well, it’ll all come out in the wash.


Andrew finishes by telling me that it’ll probably have been his last festival as he’s so pissed off with the in-fighting, so fuck-em !
That would be a serious shame because he’s been a solid guy for all the years I remember him being part of it.
Still, maybe it can change for the better, maybe lessons can be learned ?
Trouble is, neither of us are holding our breaths.
Ok, one last embrace in case it really is goodbye outside his place, and then drive home with every muscle in my body screaming at me to just get myself into the warmest bath I could stand before going to bed.
It’s work as usual tomorrow, and I’m not looking forward to it one bit.

The following two days are a nightmare of pulled muscles and aches and pains that I’ve never had to suffer before, but at least my back had held up from the twisted muscle that had laid me low for a previous month.


Thursday dawns, and it’s the day of my Father’s funeral so we have to get up reasonably early to get on the M.25 for sixty miles North to South.
It’s not the best or the safest drive in the world.
At least now they’ve widened the road and added lanes around Heathrow we have a fighting chance of getting there.
Having said that, the journey wasn’t that bad until we passed Heathrow, and then it was one solid jam until we’d passed the M.3.
But we got through it, and finally reached Mum’s at about ten forty five.
At least now there is time to try and relax.


My brother had flown in over the weekend from the U.S.A. and was helping out where he could, but the overwhelming mood was one of total sadness.
It’s not just the fact that our Father had died, it had more to do with the fact that he was totally helpless and alone in a care home when he’d died.
He couldn’t cope at home and every time he’d fall then my Mother had to call out the para-medics and get him to hospital again, and it had worn her down totally.
Unfortunately, when you’re in that situation common sense takes a back seat to emotion and emotion wins out every time.
She had totally worn herself out, visiting him every day because she had felt guilty about him being in the care home.
But what else could she have done ?
It’s alright for others to criticize and say that one of us should have taken him in, but who is going to be around when he falls ?
Nobody.
Nobody apart from our Mother, and she couldn’t cope with him constantly doing so.
It’s sad when you lose a member of your family, but in my Father’s case it had been a relief.
Now he was out of pain.
What I will never forgive is the way he was treated in Epsom hospital.


Just because he was old, he’d been put in the ‘dementia’ ward and the ‘so-called’ nurses had just left him to it.
When we finally realised what was going on, I’d gone totally ballistic and called for somebody’s head on a plate.
My Mother, seeking to pour oil on troubled waters, had forbidden me to get involved and had asked my brother to sort it out from the U.S.A.
He’d managed to do so, but it wasn’t the best case scenario.
At least he’d got them to see that not washing him or feeding him for four days when he was incapable of doing it himself had not been right, but my attitude was it should have gone further.
The hospital trust should have had to answer for their staff, but it had never happened.
Excuses and promises were made, and although these were kept, the whole matter had been hushed up and swept under the carpet.
And people protest about the government’s take on the N.H.S. ?
Would privatisation work ?
Probably ?
Right now our wonderful National Health Service is definitely terminally ill and something needs doing.
The question is what ?
I’d had problems when I’d had my heart operation, so I knew a little bit about what goes on, but this had been completely out of order.
It’s true what they say about old soldiers…
They don’t die, they just fade away.
This was a man who had put his life on the line for his country and been wounded in the line of service, but when he needed his country it had turned around and spat on him.
And people ask why I (and a lot of other people it would seem ?) have no time for government restrictions and rhetoric ?
Let’s sort it out once and for all.
Either by a revolution or just by a lot of individuals taking a stand ?
Anything is better than what my Father had to face in his last few weeks and the sooner the politicians, the trusts and the unions own up to the fact that it does occur and stop trying to make excuses, then the sooner we can put the system right.
Unfortunately I can’t see that happening.
The politicians are gutless on one side and blind to what is happening on the other, and as for the hospital trusts and the unions, they’ll just deliberately hush up any wrong doing by their staff or their members for their own benefit.
It certainly leaves you with a bad taste when you have to go through it.


One of my daughters is coming down from her home ‘Oop North’, and will be arriving with my ex-wife and her husband, but the other one won’t be flying over from Spain.
Six month old babies with the colic do not make the best travellers, and that’s a fact.


It was a simple ceremony.
My brother wrote something about him and delivered it with some flair to the assembled mourners and there were a few tears.
His friends from the local bowls club turned up, as did a few of the neighbours.
It was simple but it was dignified, and I have the feeling that he would have appreciated that ?
The music, apart from the hymns, was Fats Waller and I think that was appropriate also.
Then it was back to the house for some food and drink.


I never really had any form of relationship with my Father.
It wasn’t helped by my Mother’s attitude of my Father, right or wrong, because you were never allowed to put your own point of view forward.
I worked it out that it was a product of their upbringing, the war years that they’d endured, and a belief in the core British values of ‘children should be seen and not heard’ and ‘always turn the other cheek’ and never fight back because it’s ‘vulgar’, being ‘sporting to your opponent’ and ‘policemen were honest and fine upstanding people…’
That might have been fine in the 1930’s but it had fuck-all to do with the times I grew up in.
All I heard and saw was prejudice based upon people’s colour, values and clothing sense, and any policemen I had come into contact with, were more interested in beating you up and planting drugs about your person because you had long hair.
And because they were policemen and fine upstanding people, they would always have the ear of the magistrate or judge and be in the pocket of the local newspaper.
It seems funny writing that now we all know it goes on, but back then you could have your life ruined by one of the bastards.
Somehow I’d worked out this sort of crap wasn’t for me, and I’d rejected it totally.
It caused problems.
I was ‘letting the side down’.
Fine.
I’m obviously on the other side, then.
And that’s the way it had continued throughout my lifetime.
When my Father first became ill, he had brought it upon himself.
He had thought that a swelling in his abdomen was cancer and so he’d kept quiet about it with my Mother’s connivance until finally he’d collapsed in agony.
It wasn’t cancer, it was a faulty prostate.
Of course, nobody talks about such things in our family except me, and I’m considered ‘vulgar’.
When he’d finally come home from hospital we were all waiting for him and he seemed surprised to see me there.
Dunno why, he’s still my Father after all ?
Later that day, he came up to me and told me as such claiming that ‘he didn’t think I liked him ?’
‘You are a stupid bastard sometimes… You’re my Father, I love you… I just can’t stand your always right attitude when you’re dead wrong is all…’
And I hugged him.
How dumb is that ?
And he’s the one who never wanted it spoken about…
We hadn’t formally made peace but it could have occurred ?
Then he’d got sick again and was in and out of hospital so much that we never really had a chance to speak, mainly because my Mother would always butt in on any conversation and tell me what ‘Bill thought…’
Like he was incapable of answering for himself ?
Now he’d gone and he never would.
And yes, I do regret it.


My brother would be staying with our Mother for another week before flying back home, and so we were the last guests to go.
Haddy had a flight to catch first thing in the morning, and hopefully, Fatou was still hanging on and keeping her legs crossed ?

Luton airport at six in the morning is a soulless place, but I got her to the check-in and then had to leave…
Work called.
She’d ring me when she got there in about an hour and a half.
Vincent would be picking her up from Glasgow airport and then I’d be on my own.
It sounds so silly, but I was missing her already.